Disclaimer - This review is 50% Side Notes and I barely talk about the book at all LOL!
Spoiler-free
The month of August has, and will continue to be, the month of pet sitting for me, which is a lot of fun! Of course, this also means lots of reading time on my Kobo, which has led me to read this weird lil thing. I’ve been wanting to read Between Two Fires for the longest time, but was waiting for my Broken Binding edition to arrive. Now it has arrived to be fair, but with all the pet sitting it makes sense to keep my Kobo with me, so I span a wheel with my kobo books on and it landed on The Starving Saints by Caitlin Starling. (Kinda wild because this could scratch my medieval horror itch in waiting for Between Two Fires.)
The wheel weaves as the wheel wills. - Robert Jordan
The Premise
So this book takes place in Aymar Castle which has been under siege for the past six months leaving everyone in the castle trapped and starving. There’s three perspectives. One of Phosyne who is a mad nun-turned-madder-sorceress ordered by the King to produce the miracle of creating food out of nothing. Then we have Ser Voyne who is a knight keeping an eye on Phosyne because she’s bloody nuts lol. And there’s a serving girl called Treila who has a vendetta against Ser Voyne but is also in desperate need of escaping these castle walls. And what happens when everyone dies of starvation and you are trapped destined for the same fate? You guessed it. Cannibal nuns!
Side note - So my housemate isn't a reader but randomly told me that they had just bought a book and I was like oh what is it? But also I have so many books you could have just borrowed one...? He was like 'Urgh don't remember.' Greeeeat.... Anyway the book arrives and I'm curious what it is and it's only fcking Dungeon Crawler Carl LMAO. I really should have guessed but also I literally just bought that for one of our friends he should have just asked me for a recommendation and tbf I could well have landed on DCC anyway but still xD The nerve of the man. DCC truly has usurped Red Rising as the book bro book of our generation. xD
The Review
Honestly, Cannibal nuns was more than enough of a sell for me and that’s actually all I knew before going in. I love a sinful nun. I remember watching the remake of Black Narcissus on BBC which promised just that but was a massive disappointment.
Anyway, suffice to say that these nuns are much more sinful than that piece of shit. Not only are they cannibals but they are sly and our main girl Phosyne has already delved deep into the dark arts, so I really can’t complain on that front.
I went to see the band - Spectral Wound - in Manchester this week (was a sick show!) and was explaining what I had read so far to my friend, Chall, on the drive and it really hit me how crazy this all is. Honestly, the vibes are immaculate. A fever dream thick with the pungent fog of death. Unfortunately, everything else kinda let me down. If I were to rate this book on individual aspects it would look something like this.
- Vibes - 10
- Characters - 3
- Plot - 4
- Writing - 2
I think the whole fever dream vibe of it was so cool but it just got so confusing towards the end I had to force myself to finish which is never a good sign. I didn’t really connect with anything past the 30% mark and the only thing this book made me feel was fucking hungry…
Side note - So the word ‘shorn’ was used so much in this book, mostly to refer to the nuns and their 'shorn heads'. I had never heard this before but apparently it’s the past participle for to shear, as in how you shear a sheep. A shorn sheep. Shaun the SHEEP! Is that why he’s called Shaun? Is that common knowledge or have I just been dead clever and figured something out? Who knows? There’s no way to find out. Baaaaaaa.
The main issue I had with the writing (other than it being confusing AF) was that we seemed to hop from different characters' heads no matter the perspective we were reading from. I found it dead jarring and meant no one had a distinct voice and just meant I couldn't connect with anyone really. I wish I highlighted an example but I've just flipped through and seen something.
"I have a little extra food," Treila says, risking some exposure for a greater reward: Voyne's vulnerability. It breaks over her like ocean surf. Treila can see her shoulders tighten, then unclench, and Ser Voyne sags where she sits.
"I am not in need," she says, guilt and shame weighing her down. "Keep that for yourself."
So this extract is taken from Treila's POV chapter yet we still get Ser Voyne's internal emotions? I don't know, this frustrated me to no end and rubbed me the wrong way. It's not my style for sure.
I feel like this story would work so well as a film. An adaption would be wonderful and would actually fix a lot of the issues I had with it. You could really run away with the dark fever dream atmosphere. There are some really cool ideas here too and some graphic horror sections. Also, yes this book is queer as fuck for all you sapphic girlies out there!
I'm disappointed that this didn't end up being for me. I'm glad I read it though even if It was a struggle to get through for the second half. And for that reason I can't in good faith give a book I forced myself to finish more than 2 stars. However, the vibes in this one are so great that I have to give a lil something extra.
🌕🌕🌘🌑🌑- 2.25 stars
It is eat or be eaten.
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